Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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