My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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