Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
