now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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