Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
jump out the window naked night went bad
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
