Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
