There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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