Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It's blow job season.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
