it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
