is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
