Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
