you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
