If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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