but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
