Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
