im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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