Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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