Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You are the jesus of drinking
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
