I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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