I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
