I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
