And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
barbara walters just said penis...
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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