her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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