This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
