And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
