would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I love having hate sex.
we're making bets on your personal life
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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