i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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