Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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