Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
