He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
