Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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