I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
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