let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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