conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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