I'm really into asian looking animals
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
