idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
