so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
