I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
