The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
