Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
