I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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