After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
