why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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