I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Drunk is a universal language darling
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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