you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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