so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
