i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
40s are totally the cure
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
