We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
