take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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