There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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